Invisible Crowns

Some days are harder than others.  That's life. 

Some days what you really want is to stay in bed and have Anna bring your breakfast tray.  Or perhaps your day has taken an unexpected twist.  By all means, ring Carson for tea.

We have choices every day, every hour.  We can choose to wallow in our hurts, nursing our pride and wounded spirits.  We can choose to punish others for their sins, our unmet expectations, or just because we need to feel in control.  We can choose to lash out, retreat, or even run away.

Or.

We can choose love, gratitude, mercy.  We can choose to lay it all at the foot of the cross and admit our inability to carry life's burdens.  We can choose to come to the only One who knows us and allow Him to heal us.

We can choose to put on our invisible crowns and greet each day, each person, each situation with the grace that comes only from the Father.  We can choose to remember that we are redeemed sinners.  We can choose to remember that we are the children of the Most High King and to act accordingly.

We can choose to see ourselves as God sees us, those He loves so much that He allowed His only Son to die in our place so that we could be called the sons and daughters of God.  

If the Holy Spirit lives in us, we can choose His power to show love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Even in the worst of times.

Where Did We Go Wrong?

It seems we've gotten ourselves turned upside down and inside out.

When did it become acceptable for elementary students to have a school-sponsored dance?  They're children.  Young children.  Why would someone even think this would be a good idea?  What's the purpose?

My nine-year-old daughter desperately wants to wear high heels, simply because her foot is almost as big as mine.   She thinks just because she can, she should.

Somewhere along the way we have given in to the thinking that just because something is permissible, it is also profitable.  We couldn't be farther from the truth.

1 Corinthians 10:23 Amplified Bible (AMP)

²³ All things are legitimate [permissible—and we are free to do anything we please], but not all things are helpful (expedient, profitable, and wholesome). All things are legitimate, but not all things are constructive [to character] and edifying [to spiritual life].

Somewhere along the way the reason why we did or did not became irrelevant.  We've lost our traditions and meaningful rites of passage.  Why?  Is it because we don't fully understand them?  If we don't understand them ourselves, it becomes difficult to explain to others.  If we can't explain to others, there ceases to become legitimate reasons why something isn't profitable.  Our main concern shifts to only if it is permissible.

We have strayed so far from the path that leads to strength of character and a solid foundation.   We've become so self-absorbed and so consumed with self-gratification.  We've missed the mark and we, and our children, pay the price.

Because we want a "easier" life for our children, we pay them an allowance for daily hygiene, making their bed, keeping their rooms neat; things that were expected of us simply because we lived in a home with others.  Self-respect is no longer being taught in our homes, much less in our schools.  We've lowered our expectations of ourselves and others while increasing our privileges (and theirs) because somehow we feel entitled to them. Because "everyone else can/has/does", we should, too. 

Hold on just a minute.  If we're Christians, Christ commands and expects more from us.

Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

Life is instant.  Life is fast. We live in a world where our smartphones are the first place we turn to for answers.  Why?  Because it's fast, it's fun, it's easy.  My children want their electronic games/smartphones if we will be in the car longer than 5 minutes.  Heaven help us.

Easy.  Why is it that we want an "easy" life?  Why an "easier" life for our children?  When life is easy, we're not learning; we're not growing; we're not becoming better people.  When life is easy, we slip away from depending on God.  And friends, we all desperately need God.  We become blinded to that need when life is easy.  Why would we intentionally put that on our children?  

Why not a "better" life?  A life full of grace and forgiveness and love and self-control. A life of honest, hard work.  A life of privileges earned, not expected.

I saw a friend's post on facebook yesterday that recalled a conversation overhead while waiting in line to vote.  A "girl" (because honestly she was no lady with comments like this) said "Ugh!  I can't even feel my hands!"  In front of her was an elderly lady in a wheelchair who responded with, "Dear, I cannot even feel my legs."*

Please don't misunderstand me.  I'm in no way suggesting that we intentionally make our lives and the lives of our children more difficult to the point of intense suffering.  My point is that what we see as suffering, is in reality, nothing more than inconveniences.  We whine and complain, behaving like three-year-olds. We need to grow up.

Life is hard.  Really hard.  But for the majority of us, it's also ridiculously easy.  We live in so much extravagance and privilege that, at times, it's sickening.

This is not the legacy I want to leave my children.  

I want them to know the satisfaction that comes only from working hard and doing a job well and thoroughly.  

I want them to know the exhaustion, and exhilaration, of working with their hands all day and collapsing into bed at night.

I want them to know the joy of seeking answers and experiences and truly living life; messy, up-to-their-elbows, struggling, persevering.

I want them to know the joy of sacrificing for someone or something they believe in.   

I want them to know the love that comes from putting others first.

I want them to know the peace that passes understanding that only comes when you trust Christ in the midst of this messy and sometimes painful life.

I want them to know the freedom that comes only from true forgiveness.  Forgiveness that comes only as a result of someone hurting you deeply. 

We are a heavily-medicated nation.  We live in an incredibly stressful time.  We also sit around more than ever.  We have become lazy.  Instead of working through our stresses by doing manual labor, we take pills.  Instead of working together, we "connect" with people in cyberspace.  Instead of  family being our cornerstone and living in true community, we live in planned neighborhoods where we're lucky if we know the neighbors on either side of us.  We have become such a transient and disconnected society.  We've lost our roots.  We've lost our footing.  We search for a strong foundation and find nothing but masqueraders offering little more than a temporary fix.  

I want my children to know the peace, security, self-worth that comes only from a deep, abiding relationship with the God who created them, who loves them more than I can even begin to imagine, who sacrificed His own Son so that we can know Him unlike any other.  I want their lives to be marked by the work of the Holy Spirit active and alive in them.  I want them to have an abundant life, not an easy one.

I want it, too.

John 10:10
The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). 

More tomorrow on how I think we can get this back.  Hope you'll join me.  I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

 *HT to Angela Sox.  :)

31: Creating Margin

I clicked on Home Sanctuary this morning to find this very appropriate post from Rachel Anne. 

I love margins, in my writing, in my house, in my life.  When those margins get squeezed out, I get squeezed out.  It's not pretty.  Ask my husband, my kids, my friends, my family.

I NEED margins.  Without the; my thoughts, my words, my actions tumble all over the place, with no concern for where they land or who they hurt. 

Margins help us to see clearly, breathe deeply, live fully, focus completely.

This morning I didn't have my much-needed margin before the rest of the house was up and about.  My family felt the aftershocks.  It's wasn't pretty.  In fact, it was downright ugly.  I was the cartoonish cranky mom, complete with disheveled hair and mismatched pj's.  I needed caffeine.  I needed some time to wake up, already.  I needed my margin.

The really sad part in all this is that it was my own doing.  I didn't set my alarm last night (still have no clue why).  So, when my husband popped out of bed and told me the time (about an hour past my usual time), it set my brain spiraling.  I was immediately consumed with getting up and getting the children out the door on time, hopefully with something resembling breakfast before they left.  The never-ending to-do list flooded my mind and began to torment me with thoughts of failure, irresponsibility.  Good times.

This is the third day since Monday that my day has not gone according to plan.  God is trying to tell me something and I'm clearly not listening, not understanding.  For the sake of my family and my own sanity, I need to understand this.

Open my ears, Lord.  Help me hear and understand Your voice.  My life is nothing more than a cranky, ugly mess without You. I want the life You have for me, a life with margin and focus and beauty.  A life that glorifies You.  A life that follows Your plan for me.  Show me that plan and give me the courage to follow You.