It's been awhile, I know. It's baseball season and it still knocks me for a loop. I'm hoping and praying that before all the kids are grown and gone, it won't be this way.
Life is busy. I'm sure you already know that because yours is busy too. This is the season of life we're in right now. The extremely busy season. The run-around-like-a-chicken-with-your-head-cut-off season. I know I only have a few more years of this and so I try to remind myself of that when I begin to get overwhelmed with it all.
And that's the thing...I let myself get overwhelmed. You see, I have this vision in my sweet little head of the kind of person, mom, wife, friend, daughter I WANT to be. And then there is reality. I simply don't have the resources or the time to be that person. At least not all at the SAME time and not in this season. So I have to choose where to put my resources and my time, knowing that I'm going to disappoint someone every time I make a decision, even if that someone is sometimes myself.
I think the key for me is learning that it is ok. My goal should be to not disappoint Christ, not anyone else, myself included. My husband is very gifted at seeing me in the midst of my frantic-ness (is that even a word?), and gently reminding me that no one has put these expectations on me except me. He is so full of grace that at times it is hard for me to take in just how much he loves me and accepts me for who I am right now. Not the person I want to be. Not the person I think I should be. Just me, with all my neurotic tendencies, quirks, habits, and unique traits.
It is amazing how much a person can flourish when they know they are deeply loved and accepted. Freedom sets in. There is no condemnation, no fear. Just love and grace and mercy. It is a beautiful thing.